


Love's Concession

by BBJ_3



Category: Thor (Comics), Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence - Pre-Thor (2011), Canon Divergence - Thor (2011), Fluff, Getting Back Together, He fixes it, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, No Avengers, No Jane, The Author Regrets Nothing, Thor (2011) - Freeform, Thor (Marvel) is Not Stupid, Trust my rage, when Thor makes a mistake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 12:02:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13235331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BBJ_3/pseuds/BBJ_3
Summary: Thor quests for forgiveness when his fear and pride send Loki from Asgard.





	Love's Concession

Jotunheim burned in a way Asgard never could. White crystals drifted lazily only to race and blur the road ahead like a thick veil. Harsh winds dug into Thor's tanned flesh. Even wrapped in furs, he could not defend himself from the bitter frost. Shards of ice rose like mountains around him, but their shadows offered no protection. Sheer cliffs and slick trails let into the heart of the planet, and somewhere within this perilous world, Loki hid. 

No armor covered Thor's chest. He left his hammer behind. Even if Laufey glared down from his throne or sent his beasts and warriors upon him, the Prince of Asgard would not raise weapons against the Jotun. Too often had he relied upon the strength of his arms or the gifts the Allfather had provided. Though heavy were his feet as he trudged to Heimdall's post, he'd crossed the Bifrost with an oath on his tongue - a promise to do no more harm. As if to test his resolve, the cold fury of Jotunheim burrowed, clawing at Thor's resolve. If he only raised his hand, Mjolnir would come. With the dwarven-made conduit in his hand, Thor could fly to his destination in seconds, but he'd forsworn such ease. Odin never intended the hammer as anything but a training tool. Too often Thor relied upon it to contain him. That laziness allowed him to maintain his rages, his arrogance, his cowardice - in this, if in nothing else, the Allfather ought to have pushed Thor harder. Loki had been right. Odin allowed Thor weakness, turned a blind eye to such faults when he would bully any crutch from Loki's hands.

When Loki fled, the Warriors Three spoke of a cat licking its wounds though they had no idea why the younger prince retreated. They knew well enough that Odin's lie - of Loki's desire to meet his blood family and learn of his people - wasn't all. People whispered in the streets. Jotuns - monsters - the ones mothers told their children of late at night. War left Asgard cruel. Conquest left the people arrogant. Buried in the ornaments of their own self-importance, laws remained which tethered and taunted any who differed from the Asgardian ideal. Seidrmadr and Jotun worst of all. All of Loki's sufferings, and Thor - who prided himself on his bravery - hid behind propriety. Centuries passed since he'd last embraced Loki in public. Even the soft affections of brotherhood lay in deserted hallways as if to see such would tell all what passed behind closed doors when Loki's magic shielded them from prying eyes. 

How many women had Thor courted in public? A handful - perhaps - but a handful too many when he only allowed his affection for Loki to appear behind closed doors. Even if Thor had held his tongue, Loki likely thought Thor's attentions lustful and aimless. A man sating his thirst where he could. Yet the court called Loki manipulative. A brush of skin brought Loki wherever Thor wished him. Hidden in the library, Loki wished to study, but Thor wanted a hunt - and Loki followed. Tired and barely able to stand - pride hid wounds deeper than the eye could see. 

Three months - too long - longer than Thor ought to have waited, but he'd been weak. Perhaps Loki was right. He'd waited as if expecting some magical love to appear to steal his brother's place despite knowing no one could. All the promises beneath the cloak of night fell away. Rusted like the pointless baubles they were. Loki wished to be equal, and when they finally could stand side by side, Thor refused. He'd tossed aside love for adoration, for propriety, for the idea that he might one day find someone easier to love. There was no bravery in such thoughts. Contentedness was not love. Love had quiet moments. Whispers and the press of foreheads together when fear had ruled the day. Smiles beneath the shade of a tree or laying side by side in a field where flowers hid their joined hands from view. Love came like a spring - free and surging, overwhelming and easy in its appearance but untamable in its execution. 

Towering figures stood like statues in the white. Blue skin - deep like sea rolling with a storm. Thunder echoed in Thor's heart, but he flexed his fingers, keeping them from fists. These were Loki's people. All giants - but some had long dark braided hair; others shaved like polished glass. The Jotun did not approach. They watched as Thor trudged through the rising snow. Crystals gathered on his eyelashes, refracting the green light coiling and writhing like serpents through the storm. A cavern's maw opened in the distance. Smoke rose through holes in the ground. Curling and dark against the shimmering hues of the surface. In the entrance, two Jotun stood. One wore chains of gold. They decorated the dark ridges of the giant's blue skin. Long braids of black hair fell down around the gaps. The second - Thor recognized as Helblindi - Loki's half-sibling- though this would be the first time Thor met the other as such.

"Asgardian," Helblindi greeted. Their large frame towered, casting shadows darker than those sent down from the mountains. "I thought your Watcher had better aim."

"Heimdall sent me where I requested," Thor returned, lowering his hood and shaking the snow from his boots.

The other snorted. "Penance walk."

"He hasn't confirmed anything yet," Helblindi snapped.

Tossing a group of braids over their shoulder, the gold-bearing Jotun laughed. "Either a penance walk or no one has been able to see the surface of Jotunheim since Loki's arrival. The former assumes better things than the latter."

"Penance assumes the As intends to apologize, Byleistr. When has an Asgardian done that?" Helblindi retorted.

Thor bowed his head. "If you have placed a bet on one or the other, both parties would lose."

"Then why are you here?" Byleistr demanded. Their red eyes blazed.

"I am here to speak with Loki."

Both Jotun kept their eyes fixed to Thor as they, in unison said, "No."

"He is..." Thor's words died in his throat.

If Byleistr was Laufey's other child, both Jotun had greater claim in blood to Loki than Thor. He could not claim him brother in this breathe when he had dismissed that connection so easily those many weeks ago. He'd set aside their brotherhood for love then. Though he had phrased the exchange as an assurance of their connection, the argument which followed showed his intentions to be false. 

"Is that it?" Byleistr sneered. "We know our indescribable Loki is. Singular amongst us, frankly. Do you even understand how strange it is to think you are strange for not being one thing? The idea of it. Of being singular - how ridiculous. Jotun aren't so limited. We are flexible - changing - hard as the mountains and as shifting as the skies." Running their dark tongue along the sharp white of their teeth, Byleistr shook their head. "One would think a storm could understand, but..." They shrugged, pressing their lips together like Loki so often had.

"Loki blocked Jotunheim from Heimdall's view," Thor admitted, and when the court questioned if they should prepare for war, Frigga had frowned as Odin remained silent. Perhaps the Allfather ought to have said yes. "The walk was not penance. My concession is my lack of armor and weapon."

"You left the hammer at home." Helblindi sighed. "Pity. I would have liked to watch your face when Loki shattered the damn thing."

Biting his tongue, Thor parted his cloak to show the furs and lack of metal beneath. "I came to speak with Loki."

"Call your hammer," Byleistr commanded.

Ice jumped up from the ground, coalescing into knives in the Jotun's hands. Crimson eyes narrowed. Thor dodged the first, but his boots - still covered in slush slid against a patch of ice - sent him sprawling. Byleistr grabbed a handful of Thor's unbraided blond hair. The second knife pierced his side, and Thor grunted, biting back a cry of pain. With that single blow, Byleistr stepped back, allowing the Asgardian to fall to the ground. Helblindi sighed, tilting his head.

"Call your hammer, Princeling," Helblindi commanded.

Thor pressed a hand to his side. "I have no need of it."

"Funny, I don't seem to recall ever seeing you without it," Helblindi murmured, glancing to Byleistr. "And you?"

"Never. I so looked forward to its destruction."

"Perhaps that's why he left it behind. Asgardians only send things they aren't afraid to lose to Jotunheim," Helblindi concluded. 

"I did not send Loki away," Thor spat. "He left."

"Did he?" Helblindi hummed. 

Thor pushed himself to his feet. "Where is Loki?"

"Didn't you feel the cold outside?" Byleistr asked. Their lips curled into a smirk. "There is Loki."

"Did you not feel the shadow of the mountains as they grew?" Helblindi inquired, crossing their arms over their chest. "There is Loki." 

"Truly, and so was he in the bitter cut of the wind, the hidden ice beneath the snow, even the light snakes coiled in the sky - there too was Loki," Thor roared as his hands curled into fists. Though cut short, his nails still bit into his skin. So easy would it have been to raise a hand and call for aid. Instead, he let the electricity coarse through his veins. Thunder sounded in his chest. Lightning jumped between his fingers and crawled down his spine. "Tell me where I might find him, or step aside so I might seek him on my own."

"No," Byleistr replied. "We do not even know why you seek him. After centuries thinking him dead, Loki resides on Jotunheim once more. Do you think any sane brother would give you passage to take him once more? I would never see my dam mourn for their lost child again."

"Nor I see my sire wonder who dared to let their smallest die," Helblindi added.

"If Loki leaves Jotunheim, it would be of his own accord. I would not take him anywhere against his will," the Prince of Asgard proclaimed, but neither Jotun moved aside. His pride welled up within his chest, and with a deep inhale, he pushed it back. Kneeling before the two, he bowed his head. "I came believing what I left behind showed my intentions well enough. I see my penance is only half-met. I have set aside my arrogance, but my pride remains. So long as that endures, I remain a coward. I have no blade upon me. An Asgardian does not cut their hair save in mourning - and I mourn the suffering I have caused. If you would - shear it. Take my penance there."

"You would trust a Jotun to bring a knife against your skull?" Byleistr asked. 

Thor sighed. "Loki is my all. I trust him with my head, my life, my heart...I trust a Jotun a great deal." The decorated giant nodded, and with careful hands, they made quick work of his hair, leaving his blond locks like slivers of gold against the dark stone floors. When a symbol of his pride lay at his feet, Thor stood. His blue eyes shifted between Loki's siblings. "Please - where is Loki?"

"Loki has taken the place of the Casket. Asgard left Jotunheim to fall apart - our seidrmadrs held the pieces in place...now, Loki has sealed them back together," Helblindi explained as he turned, heading deeper underground. 

Thor followed. The dark gloom of stone gave way to the brilliant carved city of the Jotun. Light glimmered, and children played in the streets. Though well enough they could survive the harsh world above, the true heart of Jotunheim rested below the icy tundra. Perhaps if Odin's army had known that, Jotunheim would have fallen swifter. Deep in the far reaches of the city, the walls gave way to a field. Magic breathed in each soft breeze. Flowers - Asgardian and bright in their many hues - decorated the tucked away garden. A large tree towered in the center, and in its branches, hidden by the tree's leaves, Loki sat. Though he kept his eyes closed, the shifting of his fingers gave him away. Magic wound through the whole of Jotunheim, and here - with Loki - the bindings locked, healing the once broken kingdom. 

His black hair fell over his shoulders in waves. Braids like a crown wove around and between the long locks, but the dark blue of his skin - like the space between the stars - stole Thor's breathe. A simple white tunic stitched with gold covered him. While Helblindi towered - a true giant, Byleister remained only a head and a half taller than Thor, and Loki - perfect Loki - remained of like height to the Asgardian prince. 

"Loki," Thor called.

The name slipped from his lips. Longing and grief colored his words, and while once he might have swallowed both back before calling to his brother, he allowed the want to speak for itself. Two crimson eyes opened. Like fire, they burned him to his core, and relief eased the panic in Thor's soul. If Loki's gaze had been as cold and apathetic as the planet's surface, there would have been no chance of forgiveness between them. Fear held him in place once, but he wouldn't let it hold him back now. Crossing to Loki, he paused only as Loki slipped down from the branches to stand before him. His eyes held Thor's own, but the slight twitch of his brows gave away his panic. 

"Thor," Loki returned in greeting. 

If Loki did not mention the rough cut of his hair, Thor would not do him the disservice of mentioning it. Penance meant nothing if bragged about. Falling to his knees, Thor pleaded, "Please, forgive me. I acted as a coward and allowed propriety dictate my actions knowing full well how cruelly my inconsistent affections treated you." A thousand possibilities unfolded before them. "Though I had proclaimed before that I would sacrifice my crown for love, when presented with a moment to act, I showed my promises to be falsehoods. The most wicked lies I'd ever accused you of speaking could not amount to what I have done - only to have me mourn your death would be crueler." Thor met Loki's questioning gaze, and when the God of Thunder reached for his hand, Loki allowed him to take it between his own. "Please forgive my folly. I would cut this bit of myself away - the cowardice I permitted to come between us when I banished it from all else in my life. When you might have raged or turned against Asgard, you instead reached for me, and I refused you. I have wronged you greatly. You are my all, and only a bitter fool would maintain such arrogance and pride within his heart, would surrender like a fat goat to privilege and a hammer rather than spend the rest of his life at your side." Though he'd imagined the words over and over in his head with each step, they did not seem enough when presented to Loki now. "Here or Asgard or Midgard - anywhere, I would spend the rest of my life showing you the truth of how I feel. I love you, Loki." Loki's brows furrowed. Swallowing, Thor continued, "I cannot offer you a throne. Odin would not give his blessing though Mother gave hers. All I have is me. If that is enough, please...marry me?"

"I never wanted the throne," Loki whispered, kneeling across from Thor. "I only wanted you." 

Fear quickened Thor's pulse. Past tense haunted him until Loki closed the distance between them, pressing their foreheads together. The smooth touch of Loki's cool skin against his own eased the weight which pressed down upon Thor since that night so many weeks ago. "Will you marry me, my love?"

"Yes."

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I try to avoid leaving mean reviews. Instead, I work through my absolute rage and disgust by writing one-shots. Or at least, that's what I'm trying to do now. 
> 
> Seriously, I hate it when people write manipulative!Thor / Coward!Thor/ justplainOOC!Thor or own characters and repeatedly be like: "oh, Loki, you're so manipulative - let me emotionally manipulate and neglect/abuse you." If you are making Dark!Thor or something OOC, tag it, and if you're writing a Thor/OC - be honest with us and yourself.
> 
> Anyway....TRUST MY RAGE!


End file.
